The only person standing in your way is you

I wish I could turn off my brain today. Today I'm like "Oh, it's so cool and awesome and I'll smile, but please, leave me alone, cause I feel so shitty I could die today" and it sucks. I'm thinking of coming back. Third time, yeah, so pathetic. But there are days when I feel like I lost something. Like I lost my target. Tomorrow will be better, but today I want to reach about 99Ibs. I bet I'll forget about it tomorrow and eat something. And later I'll get another bad day when I'll remind myself my target. And forget about it. And again and again and again.
I'm sure nobody will read this, but I'm a little bit tired of smiling.
We'll see, what will come tomorrow.